Kalari Kovilakom: A Challenging But Life-Changing Detox Retreat

Detox and reset in the luxurious surroundings of a royal palace at Kalari Kovilakom in India.

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Hotel Review: Kalari Kovilakom, Kerala

Hidden amid singing tropical greenery, Kalari, as it is affectionately known by old timers, is a world unto itself. If you’re looking for somewhere to experience Ayurveda without any dilution or compromise, and, in particular, its legendary detoxification process, Panchakarma, then this exquisite 19th-century royal palace is where it’s at. With only 19 basic-but-splendid bedrooms, you couldn’t ask for a more atmospheric setting, replete with carved wooden staircases, inner courtyards with sunken basins to catch the monsoon rains, a temple in the grounds, and a building which whispers of rebirths, hopes and dreams.

Behind protective walls, to enter Kalari is to leave yourself at the door and adapt to a new set of rules and disciplines. Expect strictly no talking at meal times, a white kurta pyjama uniform and an environment of monastic calm intended to encourage inner connection. There are no TVs, mini bars, or processed foods of any kind. No sunbathing is allowed. No sex (no chance). No alcohol. No smoking. And no leaving the premises. Days start early with yoga, dinner is at 6pm, bedtime at 9pm. While many guests are on their tenth or even 13th visit, newbies who have yet to feel the benefits do threaten to flee. I don’t blame them. Panchakarma is by far the most challenging detox I have ever undertaken. And yet, if you can commit to the minimum stay of 14 nights, ideally 21, it is an investment in yourself that will likely surpass all preconceived ideas you might have about detoxing. A bio-purifying therapy that provides a safety wall against future illnesses, the mother of holistic cleanses can help to alleviate everything from back pain, migraines and arthritis to stress, anxiety, insomnia, and even trauma.

Considered holy by the sages of India, the Panchakarma method initially involves drinking, in ever increasing amounts, medicated liquid ghee (clarified butter) for breakfast. The ghee is infused with different herbs, depending on health concerns, which are discussed at length with your ‘vaidya’ (doctor) who truly goes into the minutia of your lifestyle, sleep, your spiritual compass, even your libido. Programmes are then meticulously individualised. The initial effects of drinking the ghee include retching just from the smell of it and a loss of appetite but, ultimately, a loosening of toxins, or ‘ama’, on a cellular level in the body. These toxins are then purged through a layering of traditional purification methods, including a liquid purgative, a series of hardcore enemas and Nasyam therapy, which involves using medicated oils to clear the nasal passages. Thankfully, leeches and induced vomiting are rarely prescribed these days. During the ghee stage, which for most guests seems to last around five days, it’s important to move the body. Walking the grounds is the morning constitutional. The earth holds you and, combined with daily yoga, yoga nidra and pranayama (yogic breathwork) classes, there is a palpable feeling of a return to a natural state. As Raj, one of the team of in-house yogis, says: ‘Breathe into the depths, notice how you feel in this moment. Light and calm in the body, calm and quiet in the mind.’

In between the thoughtfully conceived daily structure, pounding-to-painful massages are delivered to help remove toxins. The therapists are trained in traditional Keralan martial arts and their touch is vigorous to the point of bruising. There’s no room for modesty. Breasts and bottom get as much work as shoulders. By completion, hair is soaked in oil and is wrapped in a comforting white turban. Pre-purgation, lunch is a repetitive rice gruel, post-purgation (happy days) lunch replicas dinner and becomes a two-course meal. Expect beautifully presented vegetarian artworks, using ingredients mostly grown in the vicinity and served on a banana leaf. After dinner, there are evening lectures on Ayurveda, yogic chanting and trataka candle gazing meditations; education is key to integrating wisdom into a healthy lifestyle back home.

Ayurveda has recognised the brain-gut axis for thousands of years. A stay at Kalari is not just about weight loss, though double chins do disappear. True to India’s life blood, the whole experience is more a journey of, and to, the inner Self. Yes, it is a physical purification, but is also about the subtle energies, the inner tantra, and coming into unity. For this to happen, the fetters of the mind and uncontrolled emotions are released within the safety net. Many guests cry on arrival, especially if they haven’t been touched in years. As lead practitioner Dr Johaur says, ‘the darkness is taken out, there is an internal atmospheric shift’. Is Panchakarma worth its pain points? Without question. I left Kalari feeling completely restored and reset, my energy up, my head cleared of cobwebs, my heart uplifted. In parallel to cleansing the digestive system, Panchakarma simultaneously declutters the brain and polishes the mirror of your soul. It leaves you purified, glowing and, crucially, ready to face a new future with vigour. Perhaps nothing is more precious or more needed in today’s world. DF

BOOK IT: £6,035 for 14 nights. cghearthayurveda.com/kalari-kovilakom